Twenty years ago, when I started medical school, I had no idea that this would be my path. Coming from a research background in cancer biology and biophysics, I didn’t have much exposure or interest in integrative medicine. My path to practicing integrative and functional medicine and incorporating new modalities to my foundation as a general internist, was not linear, and not expected.
I was pregnant twice during my 3-year internal medicine residency training. I was crazy enough to listen to my obstetrician, who said, it’s just like the Nike slogan, “Just Do It!”. So, I did it – I had my babies. I figured the risk is lower when I’m younger, and I’ll figure out the rest. During both of my pregnancies, I was regularly doing 30+ hour shifts every 3-4 nights on inpatient rotations and working 6 days per week. I was taking care of very sick patients. I loved my residency training and I knew this was my calling. At the same time, as I was learning how to be a physician, I felt the competing demands of my residency and my pregnancy. I had to be hydrated, rested and fed, to keep my growing baby healthy, but this is not compatible with residency training. If you had to pick the fastest road to burnout, this would be one of them. On top of this, my first baby was measuring large, and my obstetrician brought up the idea of induction of labor and c-section given the size.
This was my critical point. I woke up in the middle of the night, burnt out, tired and desperate. I felt the physical and emotional overwhelm to my baby and me. As a science nerd, I was up at 2am researching the effects of these long hours and night shifts on the likelihood of pregnancy complications, including pregnancy loss and premature birth – yup, there was plenty of evidence. I decided: something had to change. As I was sitting there, staring at my computer screen with all these research articles, I made a commitment to myself and my not yet born daughter Olivia: I was going to be proactive rather than reactive about our health. I found a prenatal yoga instructor and a doula and started working with them to better manage stress and nurture a connection to my baby. I started seeing an acupuncturist and a friend referred me to a chiropractor to prepare my body for the birth of this large baby. What was fundamentally different in these practitioners, is that they empowered me and showed me what I am capable of. They believed in me.
As I was noticing a mental and physical shift in my body, my outlook on medicine and the ability of our body to heal started to transform. There is nothing more powerful than priming our body to heal and optimally perform. With the natural birth of my daughter with no pain medication, and later my son – I even laughed through one of my last contractions as my husband told a joke, I learned that we can reframe any situation, that our bodies have the incredible capacity to do what seems impossible, and if we listen and respond responsibly, our bodies will listen back.
This is the commitment that I make to every patient, and the foundation of my teaching. In addition to offering the best evidence and tools we have, we must not forget that our job is to empower, to offer support, to truly care for the individual we are working with and be an active partner in the science and art of their healing.